[ That's what had stuck out early, after all. From his first time meeting Kaladin during his surly assessment of New Year's activities to the first time he reached out to complain β rightfully β about their fellow Outsiders. He considers himself in rare company as someone Kaladin's been able to speak with freely. A member of Bridge Four. Someone who worries about him as much as he worries back.
So if that's what love is... ]
Ah, I can deal with worry and critiques, so your friends can do their worst. Wait until you meet mine. [ Who would give him the toughest time? It'd have to be Ignis, right? Why can he see him getting along with Gladio a little too well at first... ]
Anyway... maybe a few nights with more sparring and less talking. Feels like I've been running my mouth too much lately.
But I guess... before I stop, I can handle those questions now.
The Almighty knows that's true, ( Kaladin laughs quietly, pressing his head back against the wooden column. His eyes find a black sky, uttering a quiet "yeah" to Noctis' intent to speak less next time. To spar, exhausting himself physically instead of mentally.
Because this is a marathon run of the mind they're close to completing, and Kaladin wants to lie down and hold something. )
Bridge Four... would love you. Adolin and Shallan, too. My mother, my little brother... All of them, Noctis. ( Thinking how much sobers him, dimly aware of a new, formless ache in his chest. It takes shape the longer they speak quietly on the engawa, where Noctis' outline glows from an outdoor light in the garden. )
Your data file... It mentioned you were to save Eos. What does it need saving from? The military you mentioned before?
[ The rain is erratic now. Coming in waves of thunderous drops and gentle patter, gusts of wind forcing sheets of water against a messy mop of dark hair. It's satisfying. And it feels like the cold is combatting a high temperature, unidentified emotions burning away at his insides like coals as their conversation continues. ]
Geeze... that's you, alright. Not pulling any punches.
[ The one about Eos lands, of course. But so does the pleasant ache of Kaladin's reassurances that his loved ones would embrace Noctis in return. Fingers slick back unruly bangs before wiping hurriedly at his face, disguising the action with a quick shrug. ]
There's no easy answer. Luna... she's the only one who said anything to me, when we were kids. She said I'd purge the star... cleanse it, something like that.
Niflheim needs to be forced out of my country, I know that. I'll do it myself, gladly. [ Fingers curl into a fist against wood slats as his temper flares, forcing himself to breathe through it. ]
But it's not just people Eos has to deal with. There's the Starscourge. Hard to explain... but it's like a disease. For a long time we've had Oracles who healed anyone who got infected, but recently it's like it's gotten even worse. People are even saying the nights are lasting longer, and maybe it's got something to do with it.
I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do against something like that.
( It'd be easy to consider Noctis passionless. Ordinarily, and with most people, he isn't demonstrative with strong emotion. His society had a hand in beating him down, as did Kaladin's, where menβespecially men in positions of powerβhad no right to "feminine" feelings. Sadness, guilt, regret. Mourning. This has contributed to much repression in Noctis, but it combines with his born personality: He's awkward, quiet sometimes, and a bit shy.
This outwardly manifests in subtle expressions. Subtle disappointment, subtle worry, subtle need. The rest hides in his body language. Stiff shoulders, flexing fingers, hands on the hips, crossed arms. Long stares. Closed eyes.
After getting to know him slowly and over several long months, Kaladin has wisely updated his opinion. Because Noctis is unexaggeratedly one of the most passionate people he's ever met. His love for his kingdom is intrinsic, and his love for his friends surmounts that. Despite Noctis' deep unwillingness to fulfill his role as King, there's no doubt in Kaladin's mind he'll sacrifice an average life to do it. It shows in the tears mixing with rainwater on his face. In the tight cords in his forearms as he makes fists. He tries to wipe it away, to calm himself down, but it's clearer than Kaladin's affection for him: He's distraught. Angry. He's thoughtful. Sensitive.
Now, Kaladin's not sure how he could've ever expected so little of him. How anyone could've.
He extracts himself from his seat by the column, carrying himself in an unelegant half-crouch to Noctis' side. Then he deposits himself next to him, letting the rain soak through wet hair again. Being shoulder to shoulder feels better, like he's acting comforting somehow; selfishly, it's not for Noctis, but Kaladin hopes it settles his heart, too. )
I'm sorry, ( Kaladin whispers. He gathers his knees close, against his chest and beneath his chin, before pillowing his head there. Watching his friend under a dark, overcast sky, he wishes it'd break and clear up. He wishes for sunlight, so Noctis didn't have to sit in the cold and damp. Nothing in life is fair. ) A higher destiny, an invading force, a supernatural disease... Noctis, that's a lot to contend with.
That it has to fall to you simply because you were born now is... I don't know what it is. Well... no, I do, but...
I'm just so sorry. And you only found all this out recently?
[ Kaladin moves closer and for once there's no flinch or instinctive shrinking of self triggered by the approach. His body language stays open, anger fueling honesty and removing that self-consciousness if even for a moment. Talking about this is challenging. Talking about himself is worse. But at least for a moment he doesn't feel questioning. He's justified.
His friend settles and Noctis tilts his head, seemingly magnetized closer to him but stopping just short of leaning against him. His chest aches in frustration at his own restraint, wanting to embrace this man who's battled his own demons and past hurts to be here with him. ]
... thanks. [ It sounds hollow, but it's anything but. It's something else novel, unexpected. That simple "I'm sorry" is something he's never heard before. ]
Everything with my old man and Niflheim was a couple weeks back. The rest of it... I only thought about what Luna said after I read what they wrote about me here. [ The Starscourge may be a normal part of their lives, but purging it? How could anyone but the Oracle do that? ]
It's weird... but being here feels like the easy way out.
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no subject
[ That's what had stuck out early, after all. From his first time meeting Kaladin during his surly assessment of New Year's activities to the first time he reached out to complain β rightfully β about their fellow Outsiders. He considers himself in rare company as someone Kaladin's been able to speak with freely. A member of Bridge Four. Someone who worries about him as much as he worries back.
So if that's what love is... ]
Ah, I can deal with worry and critiques, so your friends can do their worst. Wait until you meet mine. [ Who would give him the toughest time? It'd have to be Ignis, right? Why can he see him getting along with Gladio a little too well at first... ]
Anyway... maybe a few nights with more sparring and less talking. Feels like I've been running my mouth too much lately.
But I guess... before I stop, I can handle those questions now.
no subject
Because this is a marathon run of the mind they're close to completing, and Kaladin wants to lie down and hold something. )
Bridge Four... would love you. Adolin and Shallan, too. My mother, my little brother... All of them, Noctis. ( Thinking how much sobers him, dimly aware of a new, formless ache in his chest. It takes shape the longer they speak quietly on the engawa, where Noctis' outline glows from an outdoor light in the garden. )
Your data file... It mentioned you were to save Eos. What does it need saving from? The military you mentioned before?
no subject
Geeze... that's you, alright. Not pulling any punches.
[ The one about Eos lands, of course. But so does the pleasant ache of Kaladin's reassurances that his loved ones would embrace Noctis in return. Fingers slick back unruly bangs before wiping hurriedly at his face, disguising the action with a quick shrug. ]
There's no easy answer. Luna... she's the only one who said anything to me, when we were kids. She said I'd purge the star... cleanse it, something like that.
Niflheim needs to be forced out of my country, I know that. I'll do it myself, gladly. [ Fingers curl into a fist against wood slats as his temper flares, forcing himself to breathe through it. ]
But it's not just people Eos has to deal with. There's the Starscourge. Hard to explain... but it's like a disease. For a long time we've had Oracles who healed anyone who got infected, but recently it's like it's gotten even worse. People are even saying the nights are lasting longer, and maybe it's got something to do with it.
I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do against something like that.
no subject
This outwardly manifests in subtle expressions. Subtle disappointment, subtle worry, subtle need. The rest hides in his body language. Stiff shoulders, flexing fingers, hands on the hips, crossed arms. Long stares. Closed eyes.
After getting to know him slowly and over several long months, Kaladin has wisely updated his opinion. Because Noctis is unexaggeratedly one of the most passionate people he's ever met. His love for his kingdom is intrinsic, and his love for his friends surmounts that. Despite Noctis' deep unwillingness to fulfill his role as King, there's no doubt in Kaladin's mind he'll sacrifice an average life to do it. It shows in the tears mixing with rainwater on his face. In the tight cords in his forearms as he makes fists. He tries to wipe it away, to calm himself down, but it's clearer than Kaladin's affection for him: He's distraught. Angry. He's thoughtful. Sensitive.
Now, Kaladin's not sure how he could've ever expected so little of him. How anyone could've.
He extracts himself from his seat by the column, carrying himself in an unelegant half-crouch to Noctis' side. Then he deposits himself next to him, letting the rain soak through wet hair again. Being shoulder to shoulder feels better, like he's acting comforting somehow; selfishly, it's not for Noctis, but Kaladin hopes it settles his heart, too. )
I'm sorry, ( Kaladin whispers. He gathers his knees close, against his chest and beneath his chin, before pillowing his head there. Watching his friend under a dark, overcast sky, he wishes it'd break and clear up. He wishes for sunlight, so Noctis didn't have to sit in the cold and damp. Nothing in life is fair. ) A higher destiny, an invading force, a supernatural disease... Noctis, that's a lot to contend with.
That it has to fall to you simply because you were born now is... I don't know what it is. Well... no, I do, but...
I'm just so sorry. And you only found all this out recently?
no subject
His friend settles and Noctis tilts his head, seemingly magnetized closer to him but stopping just short of leaning against him. His chest aches in frustration at his own restraint, wanting to embrace this man who's battled his own demons and past hurts to be here with him. ]
... thanks. [ It sounds hollow, but it's anything but. It's something else novel, unexpected. That simple "I'm sorry" is something he's never heard before. ]
Everything with my old man and Niflheim was a couple weeks back. The rest of it... I only thought about what Luna said after I read what they wrote about me here. [ The Starscourge may be a normal part of their lives, but purging it? How could anyone but the Oracle do that? ]
It's weird... but being here feels like the easy way out.